MOIST. The Grossest Word Known To Man.

Quite often, bakers are praised for the moistness of their baked goods. Many of these bakers are flattered to hear their creations being commended in such a way. But for the rest of us bakers and haters of the word “MOIST”, even its mere existence causes us to cringe.

Moist Quote

Jimmy has perfectly stated what us, moist-haters, think and feel. Honestly though? What alternatives for this awful and grotesque word do we have? Even the synonyms and the definition of the word itself, are just as cringe-worthy.

Moist Cringe

It is simply the way that it sounds that makes it so revolting. Some people don’t understand why I despise this word so much and I don’t have a further explanation, except for the way that it sounds.

Many people have a difficult time grasping the reasoning behind my hatred toward the word moist; however, there are others that truly understand where I’m coming from. I commend other people’s animosity towards the word, though at times it can be excessive. Some individuals would even like to see the word expunged from the English dictionary. The least I am hoping for is an alternative word to use. I am determined to find a substitute for “moist” and I have a couple in mind that just might work!

Moist Alternatives

First I would like for us to look at the definition of “moist”:

moist

If we take a moment to analyze this definition, we see that using it in the context of complimenting cakes and baked goods would be quite strange. Even its substitutes don’t sound appealing. Some synonyms provided by thesaurus.com are:

  • Wet
  • wettish
  • damp
  • soggy
  • watery
  • dampish
  • dank
  • oozy

Obviously, these are not going to work, especially when using them to compliment a baker’s creations. I mean, they are just as nauseating and vile as using “moist”. We get praised for our work with the word “moist” and using “damp” as an alternative would be that much more insulting! But I guess, either way we can’t help but take it in a negative connotation.

Therefore, I discovered that finding an appropriate alternative would require further research. That led me to assemble a research team (my cousin) and we searched for hours (15 mins) and she came across  “Mellifluous”. It is defined as:

Mellifluous

When comparing this definition to “moist”, it differs tremendously, but in my opinion, using “mellifluous” would still be the better choice. I believe that it has more of a positive connotation and the sound of it is satisfying, mainly because it sounds nothing like “moist”. However, it is a little difficult to pronounce and this can be a set back for this alternative to catch on. This leaves me in the same position…looking for a replacement word.

It actually inspired my cousin and I to create our own word to replace “moist”. It took some time and creativity to come up with a word that might work. While we were shooting some ideas around, we amazingly came up with the same exact word and shouted… DELUSHIOUS! It is now and furthermore defined as:

Delushious

I’d just like to take the time to say, You’re Welcome World. Never again will we have to use “moist” to describe our baked goods.

I strongly believe that it will catch on. What do you think about it? Do you have any alternatives? Comment and tweet your ideas!

Join the search and put an end to “MOIST”.

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